The answer to "What is separation anxiety?" can be answered as feeling an intense anxiety when leaving the people we are attached to or places like our home. During the developmental period, every baby goes through a period of separation anxiety. Babies with separation anxiety want to be with their caregivers at all times and have difficulty in separating from them. Babies who are securely attached to their caregivers are less likely to experience separation anxiety after a while. However, depending on our past experiences and the first bond we establish with our caregiver, we may experience separation anxiety in adulthood. This can wear out the relationships we have established. Especially when we have an anxious attachment tendency, separations can be much more challenging for us, which can cause our relationships to progress in an unhealthy way. For this reason, in this article, we include separation anxiety that starts in infancy and continues in adulthood.
Separation anxiety in adults is a condition in which the individual experiences excessive fear and anxiety about separation from the people they feel connected to. This kind of anxiety can be quite destructive for the person experiencing it. Adults with separation anxiety may avoid social activities in order not to be separated from their loved ones, and may face continuity and performance problems in their work life. Likewise, they may have difficulty in living an individual life and making decisions in small and big events.
Recognising the symptoms and common moods of this type of anxiety can help us better understand the answer to the question "What is separation anxiety?".
The emotions frequently experienced by an adult with separation anxiety can be as follows:
Symptoms of separation anxiety include:
Another question that is related to "What is separation anxiety?" is the question of when separation anxiety begins. Separation anxiety enters our lives earlier than we think as a normal part of our development. Babies aged 8-14 months begin to experience their first anxiety about separation from their caregivers. It is not a coincidence that separation anxiety first enters our lives in this period. Object permanence in infants is formed in this period. Object continuity means that we know that people and objects still exist even if we do not see them. With the object permanence that develops during this period, the baby starts to wonder when his/her parent will return to him/her. Not knowing the answer to this question causes intense anxiety. At the same time, since babies are dependent on their parents' care during this period, the intensity of their anxiety is intense.
Separation anxiety in babies usually starts at about 8 months. At this age, babies are anxious when they see new people. However, they continue to feel safe with the presence of their parents when they are with these people. After their parents leave, this sense of security is replaced by anxiety. With the healthy progress of the development process, babies are not as dependent on their parents' care as before. Although it may take longer in some children, by the age of 2, separation anxiety decreases as the child is not as dependent as before and the belief that the parents will return is established.
As we grow up, the subject of separation anxiety may change. With new people joining our lives, we can experience separation anxiety in relationships other than our relationship with our parents. We may experience separation anxiety with our friends, partners and sometimes even with our pets. Therefore, we can evaluate separation anxiety not as an ending phenomenon, but as a type of anxiety that changes shape according to our emotional resilience, experiences and the dynamics of our relationships and enters our lives from time to time.
Separation anxiety has common emotional and physical symptoms. Thanks to these symptoms, we can get an idea of whether babies experience separation anxiety.
Babies may experience separation anxiety during sleep as a normal part of their development. One of the symptoms of separation anxiety is the desire of babies to sleep with their caregivers. In order for your baby to spend these times more at ease, you can create a bedtime routine, buy a sleep toy that they can cuddle at bedtime, remind them that you will see them again in the morning, or stand next to them for a while.
It is only natural to feel anxious about separation and distressed about being away from our loved ones. However, when this anxiety interferes with our daily activities, other relationships and responsibilities, it can harm our well-being. We call this condition, which can be observed in children and adults, separation anxiety disorder. It is natural for school-age children to feel distressed about leaving their parents and entering a new social environment. However, it can be a difficult and negative experience for children when this anxiety grows after the time required for adaptation, causing school attendance problems and physical symptoms such as abdominal pain or nausea. Likewise, in adulthood, feeling sad about leaving our loved ones and worrying about them are emotions that we all experience from time to time. However, when this anxiety starts interfering with our work life, social life, individuality, freedom and well-being, we can say that we have separation anxiety disorder. Such a situation can be solved by getting help from a professional and working on this issue and can open the door to a more fulfilled life and social relationships.
Experiencing separation anxiety constantly and intensely can be exhausting both for us and for those around us. For this reason, it is as important to answer the question "What is separation anxiety?" as it is to answer the question "How to treat separation anxiety?". Separation anxiety is a subject that can be treated with very positive results. Different therapy methods offer us various solution options by addressing this issue with different approaches and give us the opportunity to have control over our anxiety by recognising it.
If you are eager to work on your separation anxiety and increase your well-being, you can gain resilience in dealing with separation anxiety by using Relate.
Cognitive behavioral therapy is the most preferred therapy method for anxiety disorders and its positive effects have been proven by research. In this method, it is worked on having healthier and more realistic thought patterns by identifying negative thought patterns that affect our behaviors and emotions about separation.
Psychodynamic therapy is also a method frequently used in anxiety disorders. The aim of this approach is to discover the unconscious thoughts that cause anxiety and how our past affects the present at this point. Psychodynamic theory looks at our conscious or unconscious experiences and the defense mechanisms we develop for understanding our separation anxiety.
Another therapy method used in anxiety disorders is acceptance and commitment therapy. According to this method, trying to control anxiety and painful feelings and thoughts causes us to worry more. In this context, it is aimed to increase our emotional flexibility by accepting the existence of negative feelings and thoughts and to cope with separation anxiety by taking healthier actions in accordance with our personal values.
The aim of this therapy method is to examine the issues that cause us anxiety through the relationships we are in. Separation anxiety both affects and is affected by the relationships we are in. Interpersonal therapy focuses on attachment, and behaviors and beliefs that are problematic in dyadic relationships.
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