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Peer bullying is defined as verbal, physical or cyber violence that children are exposed to by their peers. This situation, which can be seen in all kinds of groups, threatens children's physical and psychological health and harms their academic and social development. For this reason, as adults, it is of great importance that we recognize peer bullying well and take precautions before it is too late. In this context, we will examine peer bullying, its effects and the measures that can be taken below.
Peer bullying is defined as a form of aggression that one or more children deliberately and consistently inflict on another child or children whom they perceive as weaker or more vulnerable than themselves. While we can all be exposed to bullying at any age, we see that school-age children and adolescents are more at risk.
Peer bullying can occur in different ways:
Physical bullying: Behaviors such as hitting someone, damaging their belongings, touching their body without their consent and pulling their hair are called physical bullying. This type of bullying can not only physically harm the person, but can also negatively affect their psychological health by damaging their sense of security and self-confidence.
Verbal bullying: Swearing, threatening, talking mockingly and humiliatingly about someone, making fun of their physical characteristics, insulting their accent or culture are classified as verbal bullying.
Social bullying: Behaviors such as ignoring, discriminating, excluding someone, excluding them from games, spreading untrue rumors about them and damaging their relationships are defined as social bullying.
Cyberbullying: Sending insulting messages to someone, publishing someone's photos on the internet without permission, making derogatory comments or spreading false information about them on the internet are included in the field of cyberbullying.
We may confuse peer bullying with play or joking between children, or we may see children/adolescents who engage in these behaviors defending themselves as "just kidding". At this point, being able to distinguish between bullying and joking helps us to avoid potential risks.
For a behavior to be considered a joke, no one should be hurt by that behavior, all parties should participate equally and everyone should be having fun. When someone is physically or emotionally harmed, when one party is in a stronger position, and when these situations persist despite the fact that there is a party who feels uncomfortable, we call this behavior bullying. Without a clear distinction between playfulness and bullying, children may try to hide their vulnerability and pretend to have fun while continuing to be bullied. But as adults, we need to teach them to distinguish between play and bullying, so that they can speak out against bullying. Because underplaying bullying, pretending not to care or remaining silent in the face of this negative situation causes the bullying to continue and increase in intensity.
Recognizing peer bullying is crucial for protecting the mental and emotional well-being of children and adolescents. Therefore, recognizing the signs of peer bullying is the first step in supporting those who are exposed to this situation.
We may encounter the following signs in bullying situations:
In addition to these symptoms, when we observe groups of friends, we need to be careful about the possibility of potential peer bullying, especially when we see that a particular child/adolescent is constantly left out, negatively commented on, or talked about by word of mouth.
Peer bullying can happen in many forms. Recognizing different examples and increasing our awareness of the most common forms of bullying can help us to take action more quickly and effectively when faced with such situations. Here are some examples of peer bullying:
Many different psychological, social and environmental factors play a role in peer bullying. Therefore, it would not be wrong to say that it is a very complex situation. Peer bullying often stems from the desire to dominate or to exert power to mask one's own insecurities. Especially in societies that emphasize competitiveness and hierarchy, such behaviors are more common. In addition, we can see that children and adolescents who have been exposed to domestic violence or abuse, or who have been neglected, repeat such negative behaviors they see at home in their communication with their peers. Children who do not receive attention from their families and feel that they will be socially excluded may resort to bullying behaviors as a defense mechanism to gain popularity or to be included in a group with the desire to be accepted. On the one hand, living in the digital age allows peer bullying to be done anonymously, making it easier to carry out such behaviors.
Let's take a closer look at the psychological reasons for this complex act:
Low self-esteem: People who resort to peer bullying may use these behaviors to mask their low self-esteem and to feel superior.
Desire for control: Individuals with a desire to control may resort to bullying behaviors to bring this desire to life and dominate their environment.
Lack of empathy: Lack of empathy can lead to an inability to understand the feelings of others in the face of bullying behaviors, making it easier to hurt others without regret.
Taking the wrong model: Being around aggressive or authoritarian figures, especially in the family environment, paves the way for bullying behaviors. When a person sees an authority figure using intimidation or aggression to get what they want and establish their authority, they may internalize such behaviors as acceptable and normal.
Desire for approval: The need for acceptance and fear of exclusion, combined with the need to gain social status, can push people to engage in bullying behaviors.
Past traumas: Past physical, emotional or sexual traumas can manifest as aggressive and bullying behaviors. People who have been exposed to such negative experiences may turn to bullying behaviors to express their inner distress.
Impulse control problems: Impulse control disorder is included in the psychological literature as a behavioral problem and this condition
Peer bullying brings with it many negative physical and psychological effects. We can analyze these effects on children as short-term and long-term. Recognizing these effects can help us to be more careful and take more effective measures against peer bullying. It is important to note that these effects we will examine below are potential effects and do not necessarily mean that every child will experience these effects. This is because factors such as psychological resilience, support, early intervention and healthy coping strategies play a critical role in reducing the impact of bullying.
We highlighted that peer bullying has significant negative effects both in the short term and in the long term. To prevent these consequences, we need a multi-faceted and comprehensive approach involving parents, educators, social actors and children. With effective strategies and collaboration, we can both reduce bullying behaviors and promote a culture of empathy, respect and inclusion.
If we believe that our child or another child is being bullied, or if we witness such a situation, taking immediate action plays a critical role in preventing the devastating effects of peer bullying. Here are some ways we can help:
Open communication: We need to encourage open communication so that children can talk about their negative experiences without fear of being judged, feel safe and know that we are there for them.
Contacting the necessary people: It is important to communicate with teachers and other parents to better understand the situation, take precautions and, if necessary, take action, and not hide the situation.
Support healthy coping methods: Teaching children strategies such as asking for help from an adult when necessary, moving away from the bullying environment, not responding aggressively to aggressive behavior and not suppressing emotions allows us to take more effective steps against bullying.
Supporting self-confidence and self-esteem: Children who are bullied may think that it is their own fault and that they are not worthy of being loved and accepted. We need to support children's self-confidence and self-esteem to prevent the negative consequences mentioned above from becoming chronic. It is important to emphasize that it is the perpetrator who should feel shame, not the bullied.
Seek professional support: When the effects of peer bullying are not mitigated, they can cause lifelong negative consequences in children's lives. For this reason, we should not underestimate peer bullying experiences and seek professional support when necessary.
Recognizing that our child is engaging in bullying behavior can be a challenging experience. However, it is important for the wellbeing of other children and our own child that we address the issue and deal with it effectively.
Confronting bullying behavior: Speaking clearly but compassionately with our child in such a situation, without justifying the behavior, is critical to understanding and acting on the underlying causes.
State the consequences: Explaining to children that bullying is unacceptable and that there are consequences for such actions and not backing down helps children to take responsibility for their behavior.
Promoting empathy: We need to develop children's empathy by explaining how their behavior causes emotions and effects on others.
Monitoring social media activity: Observing how children use language and behave in online interactions allows us to prevent possible cyberbullying actions in a timely manner.
Promote positive peer relationships: We need to encourage environments where children can build healthy and respectful friendships. Encouraging participation in clubs, activity groups or team sports, and encouraging healthy behaviors there, while observing these interactions, can reduce behavioral problems.
Seeking professional support: Most bullying behaviors are rooted in psychological problems. Therefore, if we suspect or are informed that our child is engaging in bullying behavior, it is vital that we seek psychological support both to solve these problems and to prevent bullying.
Fighting against peer bullying is undoubtedly a challenging process. But you are not alone on this path! The "Empowering Parents: Stand Up Against Bullying" journey is with you to prevent the negative effects of bullying with effective methods and to empower your child against potential bullying experiences.
