After a loss, you may feel as if your loved one is still in your life. You may continue to hear their voice and feel their touch. This is caused by the emotional and physiological imbalance we experience when trying to adjust to the loss of a loved one.
Our body is trying to adjust to the fact that our partner is no longer in our lives. The areas associated with attachment learn to adapt to the absence of the loved one. Our hormones play a role in all these processes.
For example, when we fall in love, our brain starts releasing dopamine. Dopamine release is highly related to behaviors such as intimacy and physical contact. In case of separation, we are deprived of physical contact with our partner which leads to decreases in dopamine levels.
Before you go to sleep tonight, think of a place where you really enjoy being. It could be a city, a house or the seaside. Imagine yourself there, having gone through this process. Repeat to yourself, "The days of suffering are behind me, I am fine now and I am in a place where I am happy.".
Sometimes we expect ourselves to be perfect. We cannot accept our weaknesses. People with high self-esteem are able to evaluate themselves more realistically. They are aware of both their strengths and weaknesses.
When we have higher self-esteem, we can say "I love myself as I am. As a whole, I am satisfied with myself.". We see no problem in seeking support from others just as we see no problem in helping other people. Studies show that people with higher self-esteem are more helpful to others.
Before we can help others, we must first recognize our strengths. Likewise, we cannot get help from anyone without recognizing our weaknesses. Recognizing and accepting our strengths and weaknesses is important for us to understand ourselves.
Answer the following questions to get an idea of your strengths and weaknesses:
- What am I good at?
- What things do other people usually need to help me with?
- Which activities drain my energy?
- What can I work on for hours without getting bored?
After giving honest answers to yourself, you can also ask others the same questions. What you hear from the people closest to you can help you realize things about yourself. In this way, you can realize your power instead of focusing only on weaknesses.
Stress is our body responding to an existing or perceived threat. We have an inner balance that helps us live our daily lives in a healthy and sound manner. Any challenge that threatens this balance is perceived as a stressor. We all feel stressed for different reasons, for different durations and at different intensity levels.
Factors such as hunger, fatigue or the news we see on TV can be given as examples of situations that threaten our inner balance, and there are some stressors we cannot always see, such as our negative perception of ourselves. Inconsistency of our expectations with reality, uncertainty and experiencing time constraints are among the factors that lead us to stress.
Think about an event where you felt stressed recently. This event doesn't have to stress you out excessively, it's just that you feel a little stressed. In light of this event, answer the following questions.
1. What was going on?
2. What was going through your mind at the time of the event?
3. How were you feeling?
4. How did you react to stress? What behaviors did you display?
5. What did you notice in your body? (tension, tremor, nausea etc.)
In this way, realize the relationship between your emotions, thoughts and behaviors.
Although there are 3 different attachment styles: anxious, avoidant and secure, attachment behaviors in adulthood are examined through a plane. This plane consists of two axes: attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance.
While attachment anxiety reflects our concerns about relationships, attachment avoidance shows how much we avoid forming relationships. If we have low attachment anxiety and low attachment avoidance, we are relatively securely attached.
When you feel unloved and unappreciated in a relationship, or when your abandonment anxiety is triggered, ask yourself, "What does my inner child need to hear right now?" Your partner may not always be able to give you what you really need and maybe it is not necessarily related to your partner. After all, you are two separate people with different backgrounds. You can best understand your own needs. Find out what your inner child needs and try to calm it down in your own way.
It is easy to recommend.
It is evident that steps and tasks are thought through, and that in scientifically based content, it is not said that this is how it should be.
As someone who has had problems with self-worth, self-love and self-respect all my life, I think I have progressed thanks to daily tasks and other features. I think you have a big share in this step I have taken towards progress.
I loveeeee it!!
Every journey is so beautifully and carefully prepared and I am so happy that this labor is accessible for a very small amount.